I chose to Home-school… reluctantly.
Yep, I honestly didn’t want to. For me it’s easier when my life is strictly regimented by a routine and schedule. Hello anxiety!
However, I saw a system the was flawed. I felt the ramifications of a system that was failing my children.
If I am to abide by the law and place my children in school I should be able to trust the system that is in place for them to grow and thrive. However, the system doesn’t do that.
The system is set up in the favor of the system. Not in the favor or the teachers or the students.
The teachers are underpaid and overworked. Forced to abide and teach a standard that keeps “test scores high”. The stress of all of this gets transmuted onto the children. And, I have to mention that in no way shape or form is this to pick a part teacher or place blame on them. It’s sad that I even have to put that disclaimer out there. This is my story, my situation, and my experience not any one else’.
Kids are kids. Just like the rest of us, they have good days and bad days. Some move around too much and some can’t focus. Some are overstimulated while others are under-stimulated. Some are loud and some are quiet. Now, are some kids in need of special treatment for special behavioral or academic needs? Yes, but that again is not the road I am going down. In the educational system our kids are not honored with the understanding and compassion that they should be. And from our experience in school this got worse with each year.
The anxiety that I’ve watched my son endure is painful. The fear and self consciousness of not being smart enough that my daughter adopted was the final straw for me.I was watching my children’s confidence go down the drain, while watching their worry spiral out of control. My children should not have to be concerned with the opinion of their teachers if they do not pass or if they struggle. They should be concerned with how it makes them feel based on the choices and actions they have made. I am against the entitled behavior that I see going on, but what I see happening is that the educational system is flawed. And the connection between teacher and parent isn’t cohesive anymore. It’s just not how it works anymore.
The mindset of the education system to make everyone the same yet not hold people accountable is not teaching anything good. So, I took it upon myself to be the one for my children. I mean that’s my job right?
I will teach my children right from wrong as I should, but also how to read and write. I will gently remind them to focus and sit still without ostracizing them and making them feel small. No one will pick them last on the playground intentionally. And they won’t be pressured to be perfect.
I won’t protect them from failing, but allow them to fail and learn from it, opposed to shatter them with shame. They will learn the hard lessons, I’m not trying to shelter them from that. But with hard lessons need to be people that care deeper than a test score or grade.
Sometimes we have to make decisions that we don’t want to do. We don’t want to do them because its “too much work”, “too hard”, “inconvenient”, or “not aligned with our path”. But, we know that sometimes that is the best road to take. It’s not about the instant gratification or pacification of the moment, its about the long term investment into my children’s well-being. This is so they can be the best versions of themselves. This is so they can be productive members of society and to have the tools to deal with the shit that comes with that. I do this not for me, but for them.